oblivion embraces

Tender breaths sail past me
Faint songs caress my ear
Silent depths surround me
I long for my lover to draw near

Turn, he whispers, to the birds
Their wandering elegance soothes me
Follow, he murmurs, the deer
Their strength and devotion moves me

Suddenly melodies slip from my lips
I follow the wind like a dove
Power and wisdom flow to and from me
Zealous passion becomes my love

But when the moon rises high to its peak
And the owls of the night turn their faces
My heart, mind, and soul grow quietly still
And sweet dark oblivion embraces

my happiness project

happiness print via etsy

happiness. 

i've been thinking about this word for a while now.

what does it mean?

how to i get it?

what is my happiness measured by?

am i happy?

a couple months ago, i read the new york times bestseller happiness project by gretchen rubin. basically, she divides the year into 12 months and works on improving a different area of her life during every month. i have been inspired to take on a similar project for 2012. yes, it might look like a glorified new years resolution, but i think there's more to it than meets the eye. i've realized after scrutinizing my life this past year, that there's a lot of things i'd like to improve on: 

marriage, health, spiritual life, finances, attitude, mindfulness, cleanliness, and relationships all make the list. basically, i'm realizing that i have lacked discipline this past year. and i believe that if i'm more disciplined, i will accomplish more, and thus, be happier and more content with my life.

while i've been thinking about this project, i was reminded of another book i read in high school called the celebration of discipline by richard foster. after i found it, i looked through the table of contents and was happy to see that the book was divided up into 12 spiritual disciplines: 

meditation, prayer, study, simplicity, service, confession, and worship are some of the chapters.

so for 2012, i'm embarking on my own happiness project. for me, the emphasis is learning discipline through having specific goals and following through daily/weekly/monthly with the tasks i've created to get there. here's my 12 month break down of my project thus far:

 month/happiness project/spiritual discipline

january: spirituality/meditation

february: vitality/prayer

march: marriage/fasting

april: cleanliness/study

may: finances/simplicity

june: mindfulness/solitude

july: friends/submission

august: leisure/service

september: attitude/confession

october: work/worship

november: family/guidance

december: happiness/celebration

have you been thinking about a new years resolution? if so, what? also, if any of you are interested in doing a happiness project or working through celebration of discipline, i'd love some company! let me know. :)   

right ones

in the last couple weeks, i've been reconnecting with people from my past and realizing how influential my relationships with certain people have been. 

it's amazing to reflect on the way i've positively grown and changed because of just one person.

and there's a lot of you out there.

one of my track coaches from high school volunteered to write me a recommendation letter for a job i'm applying for. when i read it, i was blown away by how he had so many positive things to say about me. 

this has made me more aware of how intentional i hope to be in my relationships with people. it's amazing how the little things really do matter.

i am so thankful for the friends i have. it almost seems absurd to know so many kind, genuine, intelligent, and wonderfully lovely people. 

listing all of you would take so long, but know that i have a million positive and awesome things to say about each and every one of you.

so thank you, to all of those who have chosen to be my friend and invest and love me through the years. i'm a better person because i've known you.

i'm so glad to know so many right ones.

grass is blue

you got so much love in you

you look the songs i've heard my whole life coming true

___________________________

i've been debating if this is gonna be one of those long rambling posts

kinda wanna just be short and sweet though

____________________________________

i've been in the process now trying to understand all the roles i have and what it means to stay true to myself while in the process of change and transition.

sometimes i laugh at my naivety:

thinking that "once i do ______, life will be easy/good/fulfilling."

for you newbies out there, it's never like this.

the grass is not greener, it's more blue or yellow.

every transition is different in it's own way, not always completely better.

 i guess i've been reality checking these days.

trying to find the sweet spot in life.

and i don't really know what it looks like yet

or have any idea how to start getting there.

 there's always improvements that i want to make

but the list goes on and on and on.

and this isn't to say that i'm not happy

because i am and could have an entire post dedicated to everything i'm thankful for. :)

but i am always looking to improve.

__________________________________________

it's never easy as it sounds,

but that's why we have a lifetime, ya?

ohthankgoodness.

<3

motivational speech

fear.

that im not good enough.

that i don't have enough experience.

that people won't like me.

that i'm not original enough.

ok, ok, ok, already.

so i need to stop looking here.

and start dreaming again.

and start imagining the possiblitites.

and start creating.

and drawing.

and sewing.

and reading things that make me think.

and taking time for myself.

i am growing.

i must keep up with myself.

and not miss out on the opportunities to explore.

and document my adventures and creations.

AND I WILL!

yes, of course, frank

lets fly, fly away...

"once i get you up there,
where the air is rarefied 

we'll just glide tarry eyed

once i get you up there

i'll be holding you so near

you may hear the angels cheer - just because we're together"

 

eric and i are continuing our annual tradition of flying on september 11 today.

last year, we flew home from new york at the end of our honeymoon.

today, eric flies to san fransisco for a work conference while i fly down to long beach to visit carly.

so very very happy.

but a little melancholy since its the 10 year anniversary of september 11.

all this week i've been listening npr and they have been airing remembrances and stories from that day. it's been something that sometimes i don't want to hear because usually it causes teary eyes, but i know that it's good for me to hear the memories from other people who were more affected that i. 

this morning already, we had a 30 seconds of silence in the airport to remember all those who served or died in the attacks. i'm so thankful for my country, for freedom, and i am thinking about all those whose lives were and still are affected from that day. 

 

and to those who have and are still serving and protecting, thank you. 

i still and will always remember.

 

the detangled beloved

lately, i've become a third person

above and outside, i try to peer in

but whenever i look, i see overgrown tangles

squelching a garden of beautiful passion

you see, i've been growing and changing and moving

forward, i think, but sometimes i can't tell

so i've been doing 

some thinking, 

some planning, 

some weeding

and i'm starting to see the light again

the glorious wonderful light

and my heart swells as autumn approaches

i feel the inspiration in my bones

my passion is rising

my calling seems clearer

and my love seems greater than ever before

no longer alone

no longer entangled

i look out toward my abba

and become the beloved