my castle, my garden

repress
repress
so many things that i want to address
but i cannot help but digress
just share
just share
slowly they slip out here and there
"but do you really think that people care?"
"it's not important, no big deal."
"but i just want to be real!"

stop this, you! you wretched fiend!
you smiled and then intervened
and tried to be a most honest friend
to which i quickly did befriend.

deceiving, lying, trying to conceal
all these feelings i want to reveal.
why did i choose to believe you?
it's such an easy thing to do.
i buy your lies and take them home
caring much too deeply for weeds that want to roam.
and roam they do, spreading deep.
i pay a price that's far from cheap.
the roots they lie and grow beneath
choking life, i have no relief.

but up on top, yes, above the ground
everything is safe and sound.
i smile and wave and try to ignore
the suffocation of my core.

someday maybe it will rain
and help wash all this dirt away
(or at least it might stop the pain
hopefully for at least a day).

i wait
i wait
for someone, something to guide me straight
please come soon, it's getting late.
not one more night, not one more day,
i want you here and here to stay.
"don't fear
don't fear
my darling, i'm near."
i ache and i strain for a listening ear.
be tender, be kind
i'll show you inside
my castle, my garden
is where i reside.