Wednesday, April 18, 2012

far from home, but so happy

i'll be honest.
it's been hard to find the words to write lately.
there has been so many complications with my job and i've just been trying to sift through my feelings and find reality. and frankly, this is not the place where i do that. but i have finally come to some healthy conclusions about where i'm at and how to proceed. hilariously though, this doesn't mean i've come to any drastic decisions. it's more of accepting the confusion i've felt and promising myself to keep my head up.

blah. i'm making this sound so dramatic. but i suppose that's how i've felt. 

anyway, moving on...
i'll get to the good stuff and tell you what i've figured out. 

1. despite not knowing what or where my job is going to take me in the future, for now, i'm gonna stick it out and make the best of it. this is turning out to definitely be the adventure i signed up for. :)
i mean, i get to see stuff like this while at work! mt st helens!

2. although being away from eric 5 days a week is not what i thought this job would look like, our appreciation for each other has grown exponentially. it's true, distance does make the heart grow fonder.

3. having parents and friends that speak the truth into my life is such a blessing in my life.
in a conversation with carly a few days ago, she challenged me to think about what is it god wants me to do and what he doesn't want to do everyday. in general, get done what i can, focus on loving those around me, and trusting him. things to not do: worry, stress out about the unknown...
pretty much exactly what i was doing...and it was just causing frustration and not being able to find joy around me. and then my mom a day or two later basically said the same things. 

4. randomly, today i read that hugging for 6 seconds is the minimum time necessary to promote the flow of oxytocin and serotonin, mood-boosting chemicals that promote bonding.  
yup, work those (awkwardly) long hugs:)

this month i'm working on study and cleanliness.
it's kinda hard to work on keeping the house clean when i'm only home 2 days a week, but eric's been awesome and making sure our room is clean when i get home which such a huge blessing for me.

i've been thinking about this quote from the chapter on study in the Celebration of Discipline:
"Study produces joy. Like any novice, we will find it hard work in the beginning, but the greater our proficiency, the greater our joy. Alexander Pope says, 'There is no study that is not capable of delighting us after a little application to it.' Study is well worth our most serious effort."

to be sentimental, the hardest part about this job is being away from my family and friends in portland. i already mentioned the heart growing fonder with eric, but it's true for everyone else too. i miss seeing my family more regularly, and i miss thursday nights being with my home community. and i miss just hanging out with eric and our awesome roommates kat and luke. 
my heart definitely lives in portland.
i even just miss the city. :)

holy world's longest blog post, batman.

to finish up, just wanted to say that a few albums have dropped lately, which have made my life so happy! check out the following bands!

esperanza spalding, originally from portland, and a jazz bassist as well.
 this band. gonna be part of some sweet summer sounds.
also alabama shakes, jason mraz, and eric hutchinson released albums that have dropped within the last week or so and they are phenomenal. 
so go enjoy some good music:)
and apparently john has started wanting to look like johnny depp. ehhh don't think he can pull it off, but i'm stoked for his new album next month!

kk. i'm out. love you all.


  1. Love that tidbit about hugs!
    Praying for you daily, friend. I miss you!


  2. thanks for the encouragement ... been dwelling a bit too much myself on that which I have little fondness for and even littler control over. :)

  3. Thanks for sharing Ellen! I feel like I know you a little better now and I also feel encouraged about life after reading this.