i come uncollected, adrenaline hot in my veins and my pupils staring. i come hyperventilating, blind, dumb, panicked, wanting everything but you. my breaths are sobs of disappointment, cowardice, exhaustion, terror--there is a better way than this, and i was on it; why did i turn?
i cannot hold myself still. i cannot keep myself true. but lord, here i am. teach me to breathe.